Past to Future

Perhaps because I am getting older, I have been thinking about my life and the people that have influenced me to be what I have become. I have thought about my childhood and the influences that shaped my life.

My thinking has been partly inspired by reading “The Myth of Normality” by Gabor Mate. It is a fascinating book, and he communicates the insights of Psychology in a way that is relatively easy to understand.

I have written up some of the insights that I gained from reading his book in a substack article called Past to Future. The article also describes what I have learned about myself. I will post some key insights here, but for the full article you should read Past to Future.

Gabor Mate on Addiction

Bryony Gordon describes Gabor Mate's teaching on addiction.

I met Gabor Maté, I mumbled shyly that, as a recovering addict, this was a bit like meeting Father Christmas. His intense gaze didn’t falter. “You’re not an addict,” he said, seriously.

“Nobody is that dysfunctional. You may have drunk in a way that was harmful to you and your emotional life and maybe even your physiology, but that doesn’t mean that’s who you are. It just means that’s something you did and you did it for a reason. What did it give you?”

“Oblivion,” I whispered.

“And why would someone want oblivion?” he continued, very matter-of-factly.

“From pain?” I suggested.

“Yeah. And is pain relief a good thing or a bad thing? Addiction wasn’t your problem, it was your attempt to solve the problem of pain. It is a pain response. And it is totally normal to escape from pain [with addiction] when you know no other way.”

There, in one short conversation, Maté had succinctly and unemotionally summed up his teachings.