Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Wife of a Prophet

When updating my teaching on the Prophetic Ministry, I realised that something important was missing. There is nothing about the role of the wife of the prophets. This topic is not covered by in the books. Here are my thoughts. What could be added?

Wife of a Prophet
Some prophets will be single, but many will be married. The wife of a prophet often carries a heavy burden.

  1. Men called to the prophetic ministry are usually very thick skinned. They need to be to fulfil their calling.

    I will make you as unyielding and hardened as they are. I will make your forehead like the hardest stone, harder than flint (Ez 2:8,9).
    Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land-the kings of Judah, its officials its priests and the people of the land (Jer 1:18)
    The wife of the prophet is not a fortified city. She is a precious vessel (1 Peter 3:7), who is vulnerable to attack. Because opposites attract, she is quite often a very sensitive person.

    As the prophet moves into his calling, he must put protection in place for his wife. She needs to be surrounded by loyal and sympathetic friends, who understand her struggle and can provide encouragement and support. His calling to be a prophet must not be put ahead of his responsibility as a husband. His wife must not be sacrificed on the altar of the prophetic ministry.

  2. When he receives a hard word, the prophet should have wrestled with God and gone through a process to be sure that the word is correct. His wife will not have gone through that process, so she will not be so sure that the word is right. She will remember the times that her husband has been wrong, whereas he will have pushed these down into a memory hole, so he can get on with his ministry. She will remember the harm done, and be concerned that he could be wrong again, so it will be difficult for her to share the same confidence in his words. He will need to understand this fear and help her to understand why he believes the world is right. She will need to trust him, for better or for worse.

  3. People are often intimidated by a prophet. If they disagree with what he has spoken, they will often be scared to challenge him. Many will take the easy way out, and share their concerns with his wife, hoping that she will pass them on to her husband. This is a bad practice. The wife should point out that her husband is teachable and encourage the people to take their concerns to him directly. The elders should advice the people in the church not to mess with his wife, if they have an issue with the prophet.

  4. Prophets tend to be very black and white, so they can easily hurt people. When a young prophet is starting out, he will not even be aware that he is doing this. Some will not worry about people being hurt, even if it is the fault. The prophet’s wife will be much more sensitive to what is happening. She will pick up on all the unnecessary hurt and pain that he has caused. The prophet needs to learn from his wife. He should ask her about how people are responding to the way he speaks. He should use her advice to learn how to speak the truth in love.

  5. Being a prophet is a tough calling. The wife of a prophet knows his integrity and the cost of his ministry, so she can be his main source of encouragement. Hopefully, she can build a home that is a place of refuge during times of stress.

The experience will be different for husbands of prophetesses. Their main challenge will be to ensure that their wives are not overworked by the church. The will need to check that Christians are not taking advantage of their wives good nature, when they should be seeking God for themselves. When a prophetess is attacked, her husband should stand beside her to protect from abuse.


Gene said...

You must come to our home. My wife does what you say here. It's hard because I don't really care what people think. Yet she bleeds sometimes.

I will forward this to her, she will find it useful.


Anonymous said...

My husband was called to be a prophet about a year ago. Because we attend a fairly quiet mainline denomination I have found that the way the Holy Spirit is moving around us now to be a little bit ... surprising? scary? exciting? I think because we are one, Jon's calling impacts me immensely. It also is it's own calling: to be a prophets wife. My job is to daily help him put on his spiritual armour, help him to get back on his horse when he is discouraged, and most importantly to hold out a spiritual shield to cover his back. By this last, I mean that I feel called to pray pray pray. I am beginning to discover how very important being Jons helper and biggest encourager is. It is a bit hard on my pride though and praying for humility to accept the task God has given me is essential.
I found your first comment very true for us in that Jon is very think skinned, brave, loyal, and logical. While I am deeply sensitive and more naturally concerned about others.

We have neither hid nor published his calling but I find that I am also a very helpful witness if anyone doubts the work of the Holy Spirit in Jon's life. I can easily paint a picture of Jon before he was baptised with the Holy Spirit vs. Jon since. The proof is in the fruit: he is so constantly connected to Jesus that the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, self-control etc) are welling up and bursting forth. This has been AMAZING to watch. It has so strengthened my faith. He is SO different now. If I hadn't seen it I really wouldn't have believed so much change could happen so quickly.

Another way my husband's calling has impacted me is uncertainty. So far, God speaks clearly to him at set aside times each day and Jon will write down what he has heard (when God tells him to) He has received words specifically for someone a dozen or so times which he has delivered. My concern is that no matter and i mean NO MATTER what God tells Jon to do, he WILL do. This terrifies me a little. I do not yet trust God as much as my husband does. But God is gentle. He has not yet told us to move, or for Jon to change jobs, or to sell everything we own or anything. Yes. Trusting Jesus to care for us no matter what the repercussions of my husband's calling are is hard. I wish I knew other prophets wives so I could talk to them about this. Thanks for your post.

Anonymous said...

What do you do when your husband is new and not very mature yet at being a prophet and he is judging you and your family as not being spiritual enough and making rash decisions without consulting his wife and not caring about his families feelings?

Ron McK said...

This is a tough one with no easy answers. I presume that he will not listen to you, so hopefully he has friends who can challenge him.

Anonymous said...

What do you do when you are married to a growing prophet that gets so caught up in the prophetic, that you feel he tends to neglect your personal calling and battles even though you help him with his?

Ron McK said...

This is a huge problem. I hope he has friends that he trust that you can talk to, and who can challenge him. If he is neglecting his family to focus on his ministry, he is walking on dangerous ground.

Anonymous said...

Could you tell me whether all prophets sees into the demonic spiritual realm? Or could it differ from prophet (ess) to prophet (ess)? Will all prophets be able to see angelic beings and/or demonic activities around people and places? Thank you.

Ron McK said...

Prophets see differently. They should be careful about spending to much time watching the demonic. It is more important to see what the Holy Spirit is doing.

tatxinkt said...

This in on target! Even the comments! Very helpful, confirmation most definitely! Good stuff, thanks!

A faithful Woman after God's Heart said...

The ministry of prophecy is not an easy one. It comes with a whole lot of sacrifices... hence it is important to know that all prophets are intercessors but not all intercessors are prophets, yet both prophets & intercessors have the gift of seeing, the difference is that prophets are called to pray & speak while intercessors are called to pray only. sometimes individuals turn to operate in the office of prophecy whereas they are intercessors... which leads to exposure... so when your partner says he is called as a prophet always pray for them that God reveals truly that they are indeed prophets and not just intercessors, & stand with them on something that God has revealed to you as well, until He does keep on praying for Him as though He is still trying to find what His call is... in that way you are covering Him without your doubt standing on the way of His progress in the works of the Lord (because God searches the Heart). otherwise they might face the delinquencies of operating in an office that is not theirs..

Unknown said...

My husband often spends most of his energy helping others with issues and so forth. I have backed off tremendously from giving him advice because I dont want to sound as if I am trying to dictate to him. He is strong headed. Was let go from his job 4yrs ago and I have pushed him to get another job, or encouraged him to further his education. I work, so he is home with the children. It seem as if he has no desire to work. When we dated he called me every day around the clock. 5 years into the marriage, I am at work and he's home, so I call see how is day is going. I was shock to hear him say that he can't get anything done, I'm always disturbing or interrupting him. I know gifts and calling are without repentance. I just want to leave. He comes to bed late and gets up late.

Anonymous said...

It is not easy being a young wife of a prophet. I feel overwhelmed and find it difficult to talk to anyone for godly counsel. My husband's joy, and focus seems to be focused on ministering to people at anytime. As a wife of 3, we are careful when approaching him. He is always busy. He has not worked for over 4 yrs now. While dating he called me everyday, every hour. After 5 yrs of marriage I called him one day and he literally told me that I am bothering him. Now I dont hear from him until I get home or if he needs something. I encourage him to get a job or further his education, but so far I am not getting through to him. I feel more for the children than myself. My husband is young as well, and shows no interest in working. One time he tried to convinced me why he shouldnt work. My hesrt was crushed and I dont know this man anymore. I am quiet and say very little to him. Talking to him is like talking to a brick wall. What do I do, should I leave?

Ron McK said...

It is hard to comment on a situation without knowing the people, but I have these thoughts.

A prophet is called to speak on behalf of Jesus to his bride. A prophet who does not love the bride that Jesus gave him in the same way that Jesus loves his bride will struggle to speak on his behalf. He will find it hard to give painful messages to Jesus bride, if he does not understand the pain that his own bride is feeling. Jesus talks to his bride all the time and feels her pain.

Prophets should generally be working to support themselves, so they can be free from influence of those who support them. I am suspicious of a prophet who loses their job, and then makes no attempt to find another. It suggests there are issues that they have not dealt with.

A true prophet is sparing in their words to the people they are helping. If they spend all their time with them, they might be trying to push their words, which is not Jesus way.

Unknown said...

Thanks Ron Mck for your response. All of the post here has given me hope through Christ. I am encouraged to trust God to work on our behalf. I may feel overwhelmed, but there is nothing impossible with God. I pray the peace of God for those who experience greater frustration.

Anonymous said...

My husband lost his job 3 1/2 years ago, the Lord began to pursue him almost 3 years ago. Part of his calling is prophetic.He also remains out of work and does not feel that he should pursuing employment. Perhap the Lord is using this time as a time of rest before sending him out. Some out what the Lord has laid out to share has been words for me, some words of encouragement and others that are more difficult to accept. Part of the understanding is that I am neither called nor equipped to go with him in what he is called to do. That would create separation, perhaps even permanently. I admit being afraid of change and struggle to trust what is ahead, but also want what the Lord has for me and truly want to walk in His plan and purposes. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in and know that God is sovereign but long for confirmation and understanding. I don't want to hold on to things that maybe were never mine to have and who am I to question what the Lord is speaking to my husband. We are very isolated in all of this which is difficult.

Ron McK said...

I am always cautious when men choose not to work, because they are seeking a prophetic ministry. Being a prophet is not a full-time job. Most have time to earn a living.

You need to get someone you trust to whom you can talk. God is a god of order, so your calling and gifting should fit with God's purposes for you husband.

Raych1982 said...

I stumbled onto this old blog post after googling "how to be a good wife to a prophet". Thanks, many of the comments are spot on! However I am really wishing for more. After 5 years, do you know of any books or teachings you could recommend on this subject?

Ron McK said...

Pleased that you found this helpful. I do not know of any books that deal with the topic.

I presume that most prophetic men do not understand their wife's struggles, so they could not write about it. It really needs a woman (wife) who has lived this to write a book.

The Cain Family Chronicles - My Life with ADHD said...

My husband was called as a teenager to be a prophet to the nations. What they say about our personalities is very true. I realized the first week of our marriage that telling my husband not to do something only made him want to do it more. This scared me and I turned to God and learned to tattle to my Heavenly Father instead of nagging him. Wow! Did that ever work! He listens to God so quickly. Sometimes God would change my heart. Other times He would quickly change my husband's behavior. He would come and tell me within a day.
Also, God has been my Rock as God has moved us nearly every three years. I have put my trust in Him. Before I married my husband I asked the Lord about him. His proposal went something like this: "God told me you are going to be my wife." I insisted that if he told him he could surely tell me too. I took a two week fast away from him to seek God about him and to test my heart. The verse God gave me was Walk by faith, not by sight." God knew my challenges ahead and was not going to tell me to marry him, but that I must choose and that there would be a need for me to live in faith, not trusting my own understanding. The Jeremiah calling that God gave both my husband and I before we met has given me enough strength to believe God when all the chaos and doubt has attacked me. I have prayer warriors who I call anytime day or night in my life and I know that they hold me up as I encourage my husband and provide a safe retreat for him.
One ministry I feel like I have is a symbolic washing of his spiritual feet. As he goes out into the world, he comes back with many new ideas and thoughts and chews on them and experiences them for himself to see what they are. I am reminding him of Gods Word. God showed me that when I see things I don't like I see what others don't get to see, the more fleshly side of him. He shares with me a lot of what God is telling him and likes to bounce it off of me. It is draining but I feel like it is a ministry. Sometimes I feel pulled away from the Body of Christ with him because of his own hurt or rejection. Sitting in church is uncomfortable for him when he has no avenue to say what God shows him. But I insist on us going because I need it, because our kids need it. He is always challenged by going and glad afterwards, but there is a drudgery about it too. This wears on me and breaks my heart because I love the church and love to be part of the body. He has a different experience a lot. He wiggles and squirms and disagrees with a lot of things because he sees deeper and farther. But he has striven for unity and humility. Lately, I have a sense of God wants to to do more through him. A sense of destiny awakening over us. Anyways, as God has been stirring my heart and preparing me for what lies ahead, I have been researching about what is this calling over his life. What does it mean? So I was very encouraged to find this page, because it has put at ease a question in my heart. I have been wondering what is my role to play? What is my ministry? Why did God not call me out in ministry? Why does he hear from God and not me? Sometimes I think God loves him more because I see Gods passion for him.

Ron McK said...

Bless you

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Ron. This is spot on...I so a precise your insight and the postings

Always Research A Matter! said...

It would have been great if Martha Ravenhill had written Lessons she learned of being a Wife of a Prophet Leonard Ravenhill (would have also considered him a type of Jehu also). Maybe the Grown Children can write a Memoir of their Mother; that would be GREAT and wonderful! Also, Diane Jackson widow of John Paul Jackson would be interesting her comments.
Arthur Aaron Katz (Ben Israel Website) he wrote an AWESOME book on the Prophetic Call as well as Apostolic Foundations (which both gifts are so "violently killed" in the Church per Jill Austin's 4-16-1998 "Gatekeepers of His Glory Message". John Paul Jackson's "Jezbel Spirit" teaching from 1993 of the 14 Characteristics (not the Book but the Tape Message, was one of the most LIFE CHANGING messages for me ever along with "Wounded and Betrayed Believers are Useful to God by Graham Cooke! Arthur Katz "Reality, the Hope of Glory" was excellent also as "True Fellowship" although Leonard Ravenhill my personal favorite!

Anonymous said...

My prophet husband keeps accusing me of "being against him." He wakes me in the middle of the night angry with me,because he says that he sees me working against him in the spirit. I have no idea what he's talking about, but he thinks I'm being deceptive. He has threatened to leave multiple times because he says he can't be with someone that is against him. I don't go anywhere besides work or the store or to take our children to school, so I don't know what I'm doing to make him think this.

Ron McK said...

That is sad.

Your husband should be providing spiritual protection for you. If you are under attack, (and I am not saying you are) then he is allowing it. The problem is his, not yours.