Grieving

I have been quiet on the blog for the last couple of weeks. We have been grieving the loss of an important member of our family. Our eldest son’s wife died on New Years Eve after a short, but nasty illness. Kate was just 35 years old, a school friend of our daughter, and the mother of four of our grandchildren. The youngest is 18 months and the oldest is eight and a half years old.

Her memorial service was held last Saturday. About 600 people attended, and Kate was really honored by the many people she had touched, as a friend, young mother and secondary school teacher.

Kate trusted the Father and was an amazing witness to Jesus. She had a zeal for sharing the gospel and loved praying for the sick. She wanted to be wherever the Holy Spirit was moving.

Kate had an amazing openness and honesty. Because she was so real, she had an amazing ability to see the good that God had put in people. And she had such a compelling way of saying what she saw that it just had to be true. And the beautiful thing was, that many became the good that she saw in them, because she loved them and prayed her words into life.

From a grandparents’ perspective, Kate was a wonderful Mum
Her joy in caring for her children was amazing. Seeing her singing to the two little boys in the bath was a delight. Kate’s wisdom in nurturing and training her children was special. Her ability to love her children was inspiring.
The way that she actively enabled us to be part of their lives and love them
has been precious. We were privileged to have her as part of our family and giving us the next generation.

At her memorial service, I spoke these words.

I want you all to know that this is not God’s will.
He will bring good from it,
but it was not God’s will for Kate to die.
The God Kate served is good.
He is love.
He is our Father.
He does not want young mothers to die,
because he created them to love.

It is the thief who comes to steal and destroy.

The Bible says that we are engaged in a war
against evil forces in the spiritual realms.

In every war, there are casualties.
Unfortunately, it is usually the brave ones
on the front lines that get caught.

Kate was passionate about serving Jesus
But she was willing to take a hit for him,
because he had taken a massive hit for her.
So it’s OK to feel angry.

I feel angry when I think about what we have lost.
Just don’t be angry with God.
Kate loves him, so that would make her sad.

If you need to blame someone,
be angry with the evil spiritual powers
that took her out.

But don't be angry too long
that will leave you hurt.
Do what Kate would do.
Talk to God about your anger and your pain
He is a good listener
Find his peace.

We are at peace because Kate has gone to be with Jesus, the one she loved, but we feel very sad for her children who have lost their mother, and her husband who has lost the one he loved before fourteen years of marriage were complete.